Middlescence: The messy middle that’s more than just menopause
I read a while ago that parenting is a continual letting go, from the early years of letting go of sleep, sanity and any hope of going to the toilet alone, to the teary farewell on their first day of school, college, solo travels … until eventually departing the nest.
There are many markers through your child’s growth and very many lettings go, some of which are … quite delightful.
I can’t say I was too sad when I had to let go of the school run, or standing on the side of a freezing playing field, or rustling up something last minute for book week.
Equally letting go of teenagers as they became young adults was something of a delight … and a relief, and it’s a joy to continue to observe those moments where they learn something about themselves.
A few months ago at a family gathering my 26yr old son while in a conversation with a 17 year old, learned that he was no longer cool, or down with the kids when the 17 year old in question looked at him with pity as he used terms and lingo that was so last season.
The sudden realisation that he had moved to the ‘dark side’ of adulthood where you’re no longer in the loop and therefore effectively a Boomer was, I’m not going to lie …. a joy to observe.
As a fully signed up member of Generation X I am well used to having no idea what young people are talking about and I’m ok with that.
However, recently I was at an event and I heard for the first time the word Matrescence. I guessed this wasn’t some cool term that I was ok not knowing about so enquired into its meaning.
I apologise here to the more knowledgable reader who may now be rolling her eyes thinking “Durr … how do you not know what matrescense is?!” but for those who, like me are oblivious to the term - Matrescence is the physical, emotional, hormonal and social transition to becoming a mother. The transformation of identity similar to that of adolescence, your hormones go crazy, and changes to your hair, skin and body leave you feeling that they’ve taken on a life of their own.
Hmm … I n t e r e s t i n g!
So Adolescence, the phase between childhood and adulthood, acknowledged as a unique transitional stage in human development.
Matrescense, The physical, pyschological and social changes experienced as women become mothers.
I’m kinda thinking there’s room here for midlife women to acquire a fancy term for the phase of life where we transition. Where hormone levels could read as having triplets on Monday and barren by Friday. Where changes to our appearance affect confidence, anxiety levels go through the roof, and brain fog …. errr what was I saying?!
Nope no fancy term … just the word Menopause, which literally means the ceasing of the monthly bleed cycle.
Surely by now there must be some acknowledgment that this season of life is so much in terms of transition than the stopping of periods?
I propose that we get a fancy name too.
Dr. Louann Brizendene simply suggests that it’s called The Upgrade referring to the female brain getting stronger and better in midlife and beyond - and as a neuroscientist and neuro-psychologist, she knows a thing or two about brains.
But if we were going to continue with the ‘scence’ theme let’s throw some ideas into the pot…
Goddesscence
Queenescence
Cronescence
I mean the Messy Middlescence would personally have been the most apt but I’m up for hearing of any suggestions beyond being dried up.
Drop me an email with your ideas and I’ll reach out to the Department of Coined Terms to rename our special season.
